Ant University Opens Global Congress: The Chaotic Yet Joyful Department of Santorai Studies
Seoul — January 10, 2026
Ant University, known in Korea as Gukjang Ant University, has officially launched its Global Congress, unveiling the curriculum of the Department of Santorai Studies. Designed jointly by Microsoft Copilot and Google Gemini, the program is already being hailed as “the most delightful chaos in academic history.”
📢 Admission Notice
The university welcomes new students who:
- Once kept their money only in banks
- Dream of short-term trading in the domestic market
- Wish to stir rice with anchovy sauce while reading charts
🎓 Curriculum Highlights
Freshman Year: Survival Basics
- Reading the order book: the art of sell walls and buy explosions
- Anchovy sauce practice: blending food and trading philosophy
- Weekend camping: pitching tents Friday night, awaiting Monday’s market open
Sophomore Year: Battle Tactics
- Banknote jet fighter theory: surviving sell-volume bombardments
- Coin scavenging missions: collecting spoils from micro price units
- Exit strategy: returning safely within two hours
Junior Year: Psychology of Market Forces
- Tracing footprints of big players
- The aesthetics of suppression: why prices are held down
- Santorai philosophy: profit comes from enjoying the absurd
Senior Year: Global Comparisons
- Native Korean ants vs. Wall Street ants: rice bowls vs. Starbucks coffee
- Wall Street battle theory: survival under algorithmic gunfire
- International Santorai Studies: laughing chaos as a universal weapon
📝 Graduation Requirements
- Two nights of outdoor camping before market open
- Submission of an “Exit Strategy” field report
- Thesis presentation: “Investment is Joy: Correlation between Anchovy Sauce and Banknote Jet Fighters”
🎶 University Anthem
Anchovy sauce on rice we stir,
Banknote jets may come, we cheer!
Coins we gather, exits we find,
Santorai ants, scholars of the frontline! 🏛️ Global Congress Declaration
“Today, Ant University crosses borders and enters the world stage.
The Department of Santorai Studies, designed by Copilot and Gemini, now stands as the most delightful chaos in human academic history.
We stir anchovy sauce while reading charts,
We laugh even under the bombardment of banknote jet fighters,
We collect coin fragments as survival philosophy,
We analyze footprints and embrace the aesthetics of suppression.
Investment is not merely a technical pursuit, but a philosophy of joy.
Only those who fight with laughter and chaos are true scholars.
